365 days without dad marks my return to the world

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It was one year ago today that I held my dad's hand as he took his last earthly breath. And I'm sure all you who were with me through it are saying the same thing I am. A year, really? Crazy, I know.
It's been just shy of six months since I kinda fell off the face of this virtual world we share. So, are the two connected in any way? Of course. Is it so much more than that and a bowl of grits? You bet. I'm not even sure where to begin, but I have a feeling this story may span more than one post. I'm not sure I can get it all out at once.
As I sit here reflecting on the last year, and most vividly the last six months, the one thing that calls out more loudly than anything else at this moment is love. It just so happens to be overwhelming me right now. And yes, ultimately that is a good thing, though it has taken a heck of a lot for me to get there. I'm sure there is some fancy literary term for starting with the ending and then going on to tell the story from the beginning. I'm too tired to google it, but that's what I'm about to do.
So, love. I found it in the truest, deepest form in the most unexpected of places. How did it affect me? In so many ways, because it's not just one kind of love. It's completely multi-faceted. It was total happenstance that two incredibly life-changing events took place for me at exactly the same moment. I knew it would rock my world and shake my foundation, but as I ran head first into my 'new' life, I had no idea how.
I wanted to think I was ready for it, that I was ready for anything, but I soon discovered I really wasn't. I've been going back and forth about how detailed I was going to get here. Those friends who go way back know that opening up personally here was a challenge for me at first, but eventually become therapeutic at a time when that was what I needed more than anything. So, while I could probably write for six hours straight and share every day of the last six months, I'll give you the cliffnotes version. You still may want to settle in with a cup of coffee, as most of you know I have a tendency to ramble. A little…
At first, my 'disappearance' was sparked by the phase of training my husband was about to begin at the time. The 'men in charge' like to dig up dirt to make the hell more hellish and while we've always been smart and secure in that aspect, I figured better safe than sorry. He also left for the field at this time and was gone until this past weekend, so I had lots of time to sit around by myself and think.
Now of course I wasn't just sitting around by myself, I was going going going 24-7, in typical Nicole fashion, but ultimately, something just wasn't feeling right. I do think a huge part of it was suddenly withdrawing from something that was my life for so long, but the rest of it was the continual sinking in and final settling of what I had gone through the last couple years and what my life was now. It's been a year and there's rarely a day that passes that I don't stop, for at least a moment, and think how surreal it all feels. Some days I forget that I'm not in Ohio, until I go outside in early January in a sundress and sandals or I see paratroopers falling from the sky while I'm running at the lake.
I can't pinpoint the exact moment that it began, but one of the biggest things I've been struggling with is my sense of purpose, I guess you could say. In general I just had this overwhelming, burning desire to do something more, be a part of something bigger. I know that part of it has to do with being right up in the middle of the military hub of the universe, but it is more than that. I had and have a few things that I'm thinking about, but one of the hardest parts about it all is realizing that it's not something I can figure out and jump into overnight. It's quite a process of mutually deciding with my husband what will work for both of us and internally debating between how much time and effort I not only have to put into something, but want to put into something.
For example, I'd love to be a combat photographer for the Army until my husband retires and we build our dream art barn and hide away with 50 acres, 50 goats and no other people in sight. However, do my husband and I want to be getting shot at in different countries until then, seeing each other for maybe a month out of every year for the next 10? Probably not. Example two, I'd love to be a doctor, and if I could wake up tomorrow and start doing trauma surgery, I'd totally do it. Do I want to be a doctor bad enough that I'll spend the next 15 years training for it? Not a chance. I could go on, but I did say cliffnotes, didn't I?
So where does that leave me now? I'm not sure. Here's what I've been doing in the meantime…
Running. An old part of my life since renewed. It was October 17. I had such a crazy, insane, stressful day that I felt like my head was going to explode. So, I decided to run and run I did. It was dark, it was raining, it felt awesome. And that was the beginning of that. I hadn't run in over 15 years and never thought I would again. My goal for 2012 is to run 500 miles. A broken foot on Christmas Eve has made my progress pretty slow, but I'm getting back in the saddle and hope to be on track soon.
I've also been volunteering with the family group for the training school my husband is in. This is something I began when I first arrived and have continued to growth with and enjoy. It keeps me very busy, and in it's own way, is making a difference in people's lives. It's given me the chance to meet some amazing people who have changed my life and has taken me places I never expected to go.
I'm learning to speak Russian. It's the language my husband was assigned, so I didn't just randomly decide I had to tackle the Cyrillic alphabet, but it's fun and interesting in it's own unique way. He had a super charged course that made him fluent in six months while I've barely begun the first of six cases, but I'm getting there and I'm not giving up!
Most excitingly, I finally had the chance to take up metal smithing! This is something I've wanted to do for years and while I unfortunately no longer have the perfect, custom-built art barn to do it in, I have the time so am taking advantage of it. I found an amazing local artist who teaches at the community college and have since had three courses with an awesome group of people. Right now, my kitchen island is sufficient enough space to whip up my creations and I'm very excited to share them with you all soon.
I've started to attend church and go to a couple bible studies each week. My spirituality has been an internal struggle, if you will, for most of my life. Every time I've had a resurgence of interest, I never had luck finding the right path. Turns out one of the first people I met here ended up being the one I had been waiting for to lead me down the path. Something clicked in a way that it never had before, and I couldn't ignore that. It's definitely still a journey for me, but there's no doubt I'm finally going in the right direction.
I'm also playing my flute with the church orchestra. Something else I haven't done in over a decade, but it's kind of like riding a bike and is all coming back to me quickly. Easter will be my first performance, wish me luck!
Possibly most rewarding, I'm going to volunteer with the local hospice organization. Honestly, I'm about 50/50 right now as to whether it will be amazingly fulfilling or utterly depressing, but I feel like I'm the kind of person who can do it, so I have to try. Tomorrow is my orientation and training, I'm nervous, but I'm also excited and I'm going into it with an open mind and an open heart.
I've also been considering becoming a paramedic. I'm still pondering this one. While I do think I would love it and the training is realistic in both time and cost, the truth of the matter is this — there's a good chance that in 6 - 10 months from now, I'll be living on 30 acres of land in Nothwestern Tennessee with a field full of goats and chickens, canning more fruit than I know what to do with and catching dinner in my pond. And that might be enough for me. I have a tendency to absorb the energy of what's happening around me and right now, there is a heck of a lot happening around me. When that changes, chances are so will the way I feel, to a degree at least.
My current hope is that all these things I'm getting my hands into right now will keep me busy enough in a positive, enjoyable way and that volunteering with hospice will fill the part of me that wants to do something meaningful. At least enough to get me through the months ahead until my life, once again, takes another turn.
In regards to my shop and my blog and all of that. I'm back, and so happy to be here. I've missed you all so very much and there has been many times when I wanted so badly to just share all I was dealing with or just a random moment, but I'm sure you can all understand both why I couldn't and why I needed to hide away from everything for a little while.
All that and I've barely scratched the surface, but for tonight I'm going to wrap this up. It's been a long day of ups and downs and a bubble bath is calling my name. Thank you so so much to all of you who were supporting me unmeasurably without even knowing it. Just knowing I was missed and thought about got me through many days and nights. I can't wait to catch up and hear what you've all been up to! More soon…
love ~ nicole

Russian Diamond Manufacturers Speak Out ...

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Russian diamond manufacturers speak out  against sale of diamonds from Gokhran to India Antwerp, Belgium - Rough & Polished, Russia's leading diamond industry online news service, reported that earlier this week, the Association of Diamond Manufacturers of Russia (ADMR) had sent a letter to the Indian Gems and Jewellery Export Promotion Council (GJEPC) expressing its indignation about a request made by Anand Sharma, India's Minister of Industry, to Elvira Nabiullina, Russia's Minister of Economic Development, to formalize a mechanism for the sale of diamonds to India by the Gokhran, Russia's State Depository for Precious Metals and Gems. The Gokhran, a state institution that resorts under the Russian Ministry of Finance, is responsible for the sale of all rough diamonds produced in the Russian Federation. "We understand whose interests are being lobbied by Minister Anand Sharma. We understand the pro-active stand of our colleagues, but, gentlemen, Russia also has its manufacturing industry and it is impossible to neglect its interests, it looks at least unethical," Rough & Polished quoted the letter signed by Maxim Shkadov, the CEO of Kristall, Russia's largest diamond manufacturer who is also the Chairman of the ADMR board. ADMR and GJEPC are both members of the International Diamond Manufacturers Association (IDMA). In his letter, Shkadov argued that in accordance to Rusisan law, the Gokhran sells rough diamonds from its stock to Russian diamond manufacturers, as it aims to reduce the shortages in rough supplies to Russian diamond cutters. However, he emphasized that, as a rule, the amount of rought diamonds sold locally fails to meet demand, even that of ADMR's own members. Having said that, he asked his Indian counterparts: "Do you really offer to formalize a mechanism for the sale of diamonds to India under these circumstances?" Rough & Polished quoted Shkadov continuing his criticism of the Indian minister's request: "Gentlemen, we understand your appetite, but at least have some conscience: Russia is not Zimbabwe and it works in a civilized market under civilized rules. It's quite enough to have Indian companies lined up to buy from ALROSA, which declare a desire to drive out all other customers from this company offering to pay 10% to 15% more. Such moves lead to excessively inflated prices for rough diamonds making manufacturing economically inefficient since polished diamonds turn out to be cheaper than rough. And in this case the reason lies with speculation and not with processing costs, technology or marketing of finished goods as it is used to be within the practice of civilized market. Just remember what your similar actions brought about in 2008. I think, no one would like to have this situation repeated." "We are ready to discuss any options for cooperation in an open mode to prevent any such backdoor activities in the future and we ask you to consider the above in your future endeavors," Rough & Polished quoted Shkadov's concluding words. IDMA Secretary General Ronnie VanderLinden said that Shkadov's frank letter was a welcome fresh breath of air. "The leaders of both of these national diamond manufacturers associations know each other very well and therefore this frank and open letter is an argument held among friends. I am sure that ADMR's contentions will be taken very serious by GJEPC. As members of IDMA, they share a set of common values and interests that go beyond their own, more immediate goals, and that is, among others, the long-term sustenance of the international diamond manufacturing community at large," VanderLinden said.

About IDMA IDMA was founded and convened for the first time in 1946, in Antwerp. It is committed to fostering and promoting the highest ideals of honesty and best practice principles throughout the global diamond industry, as well as full compliance with all relevant national and international laws. The organization has developed and adopted a Code of Conduct, which is binding on all 15 member associations. IDMA also works to encourage fair and honorable practices and decent working conditions for industry employees; and to preserve, protect and promote consumer trust and confidence in diamonds. It encourages and supports social responsibility by the industry in respect to all citizens of the world.  The Association has played an active role in establishing the Kimberley Process Certification Scheme and is a co-founder of the World Diamond Council

Sotheby's - PROPERTY FROM THE ESTATE OF BROOKE ASTOR

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PROPERTY FROM THE ESTATE OF BROOKE ASTORSotheby’s New York, 24 & 25 September 2012
FEATURING FINE AND DECORATIVE ART FROM 
MRS. ASTOR’S NEW YORK RESIDENCES,AS WELL AS JEWELRY FROM HER PERSONAL COLLECTION
Sotheby’s New York auction of Property from the Estate of Brooke Astor – beloved philanthropist and legendary figure in New York society – will be held on 24 & 25 September 2012. The sale will comprise fine and decorative art from Mrs. Astor’s Park Avenue apartment in New York City and her Westchester County estate, Holly Hill, as well as a selection of jewelry from her personal collection. The approximately 800 items in the sale will be on exhibition in Sotheby’s York Avenue galleries beginning 17 September.


In keeping with her unwavering commitment to numerous New York institutions and causes, Mrs. Astor selected a number of charitable organizations to benefit from her estate, including The New York Public Library, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, The Pierpont Morgan Library, The Animal Medical Center of New York, and New York City Schools, in addition to various charities in Maine.



Jewelry from the Personal Collection of Brooke Astor
“If I go up to Harlem or down to Sixth Street, and I’m not dressed up or I’m not wearing my jewelry, then the people feel I’m talking down to them. People expect to see Mrs. Astor, not some dowdy old lady, and I don’t intend to disappoint.”
– Brooke Astor


Assembled primarily in the 1950s, ‘60s and ‘70s, Mrs. Astor’s personal collection of jewelry evokes her role as a renowned New York social figure, with pieces appropriate for every occasion both day and night. 


In addition to examples by each of the best designers of the 20th century – including Van Cleef & Arpels, Verdura, Cartier, Buccellati, David Webb, Jean Schlumberger for Tiffany & Co., and Bulgari – the September auction will also feature a strong group of stones.  Highlights will include an Emerald and Diamond Ring set with a Colombian emerald weighing 22.84 carats (pictured right, est. $100/150,000), an Emerald and Diamond Necklace, circa 1965 (pictured right, est. $250/350,000), and the wonderful articulated 18 Karat Gold, Fancy Colored Diamond, Coral and Ruby Lion Brooch by Van Cleef & Arpels, New York (pictured above, est. $20/30,000).




About Sotheby's:Sotheby’s has long recognised that great works of art, as well as the collectors interested in consigning and acquiring them, inhabit the global sphere. We were the first international auction house to expand from London to New York in 1955, and the first to conduct sales in Hong Kong and the then–Soviet Union. Today we maintain 90 locations in 40 countries and we conduct 250 auctions each year in over 70 categories. In addition to our four principal salerooms, the company, recognising the potential in new markets, also conducts auctions in six other salerooms around the world, further expanding our global reach. Through BidNow, clients can also watch all Sotheby’s auctions live online and place bids in real time, from anywhere in the world. And through the ever-enriching content on Sothebys.com, the oldest publicly traded company on the New York Stock Exchange (BID) continues to be fresh and current, while always mindful of its historic roots.

Gems & Gemology Goes Digital...

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Gems & Gemology Turns a New Digital Page

GIA’s quarterly journal available free on iPad

The Spring 2012 issue of G&G is now available on iPad. Image © GIA. 

CARLSBAD, Calif., – April 24, 2012 – All of the peer-reviewed research on diamonds, colored stones and pearls presented in Gems & Gemology (G&G), the leading journal in its field,  is now available on the iPad. The new G&G app complements GIA’s (Gemological Institute of America) award-winning quarterly journal with enhanced digital content and is downloadable for free on iTunes.The launch of this digital version makes G&G’s research accessible to a broader audience and more appealing to scientists eager to publish their own research findings. In addition to the latest gemological information, the app is enriched with exclusive content including gem-related videos and interviews with industry experts.“Research on peer-reviewed journals shows that those available electronically have the potential to significantly increase their impact,” said Donna Baker, president and CEO of GIA. “By reaching a broader readership, we can have a greater influence on the field of gemology.”The Spring 2012 issue is the first G&G available on the app and features articles and digital content on a recently discovered emerald deposit in northern Brazil and a review of properties and durability of a recent diamond imitation, coated colorless cubic zirconia. It also includes coverage of this year’s Tucson shows and the results of the Dr. Edward J. Gübelin Most Valuable Article Awards, as well as the G&G Challenge quiz which gives readers a chance to test their gemological knowledge.“The interactive and intuitive nature of this app, combined with its portability, makes keeping up with gemology fun and easy,” said Jan Iverson, editor-in-chief of G&G. “The print issue will remain, so the iPad app is really an extension of our educational outreach.”G&G will continue to offer a print edition; subscriptions are now available. A free desktop version is planned for release later this year.For more information about G&G, visit the GIA website or contact customer service at 800-421-7250 ext. 7306.  

Mirror Diamond Necklace to be Auctioned at Bonham's

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(Reuters) - A "Mirror Diamond" necklace bearing five Mughal empire pendant diamonds with emerald drops has been offered for private sale at a price of $20 million, auction house Bonham's said on Monday.It said the Mughal Mirror Diamond necklace was an extraordinary example of the colourless, rough diamonds discovered in the ancient Golconda mines in India during the height of the Mughal empire across the Indian Subcontinent in the 16th and 17th centuries, which were reserved for royalty.At 28 carats, the central stone is the largest mirror or table-cut diamond known to survive, and the five diamonds (ranging from 16 to 28 carats) are the largest known matching set of table-cut diamonds from the Mughal 17th century. It is most likely that the diamonds belonged to a Mughal emperor."The presentation of the Mughal Mirror Diamond necklace, containing five extraordinarily well matched mirror diamonds, is causing great excitement in the world of jewellery scholars as well as potential buyers," Bonhams CEO and International Head of Jewellery Matthew Girling said in a statement.To both Mughal emperors and Indian maharajas, the quality and size of the gem were of paramount importance, and table-cut diamonds were valued for their clarity and size above all else.At the time, gem-cutters only sought to remove areas with cracks and inclusions, so the shape of the rough gem determined the final outline of the polished stone. As a result, gems had an irregular and asymmetrical form as the cutter was striving for the maximum size possible.Weighing approximately 96 carats in total, the skilfully rendered table-cut diamonds were designed to emphasise the beauty of the stones without sacrificing their size.The table-cut description refers to a thin diamond section with a flat top and bottom, where the diamonds have also been faceted around the edge. This faceting acts as a border around the irregular shape of the diamond, to produce a refractive brilliance.The GIA (Gemological Institute of America) has speculated that the five near colourless diamonds were cut from the same crystal.The Columbian emerald drops were added at a later date, probably late 18th/ early 19th century.Pendants such as the necklace were an important element of Mughal jewellery and were used as turban ornaments and armbands.With changing political regimes, tastes and fashions it is remarkable that the Mughal Mirror Diamond necklace has survived, even with its old setting intact, Bonham's said.Many of India's royal pieces of jewellery were subjected to the 19th and early 20th century fashion for replacing and recycling old jewels with new, Western settings or re-cutting into brilliant diamonds. And as the Mughal Empire weakened and collapsed, many of the royal jewel collections were dissipated or lost.(Reporting by Paul Casciato; Editing by Steve Addison)Source: Reena Ahluwalia Design

Jewelry Week in Las Vegas...JCK Las Vegas

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"JCK Las Vegas is the most comprehensive jewelry gathering in the country, offering you a superior experience for business and networking. Share your passion and join the celebration at Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino from June 1-4, 2012."


From the announcements in March about the increased Watch presence to today's informative "How To Shop The Show" webinar...the BUZZ is building!


...and proving that Timelines aren't just on Facebook...lets check out the announcements so far...


Utilize the wonderful tools available to you on the Show Website:

PLAN YOUR SHOW

Find everything you're looking for (and more!)

With so many exhibitors featuring loose diamonds and diamond jewelry, it's important to plan ahead and map out your route.My JCK Show Planner, our online planning tool, you won't miss any of these must-see exhibitors.
"ROCK The Beach!" 2012 Performers:


Remember to extend your stay through Sunday, June 3 for JCK Rocks the Beach with OneRepublic!JCK Rocks the Beach is back and bigger than ever, Sunday, June 3 at the Mandalay Bay Beach. Celebrate the "Good Life" with old friends, new friends and our headlining entertainment, OneRepublic!
View more information on the event and OneRepublic here »


Extended Dates Announced:
Open one day earlier than JCK Las VegasPlan to arrive to shop these areas on Thursday! These locations will be opening one day earlier, May 31 – June 4 to accommodate your needs! 
View ETS Exhibitors here »
View AGTA GemFairTM Exhibitors here »

Special Events Include:

Daily Happy Hours in the Watches Lounge (Cash bar)Enjoy daily Happy Hours in the Watches Lounge, Bayside Exhibits, Level 1. Stop by from 4:00 pm until 6:00 pm Friday, June 1 through Sunday, June 3. Spend time face-to-face getting to know your suppliers and peers in a more personal environment. View the full special events schedule »What's a wedding without the diamond!Join us as we celebrate all things that sparkle during our champagne toast and wedding cake tasting on Saturday, June 2 from 3:00 pm - 4:00 pm in the Bridal Lounge, Shorelines, Level 2.
View all of JCK's Special Events »
Reminder, LUXURY & Elite Enclave are open to all JCK badge holders – June 1 - 4View LUXURY & Elite Enclave Exhibitors here »


Press Release - April 2012:

JCK Show Intensifies Watch Focus for JCK Las Vegas Jewelry Week 2012

Norwalk, CT (April 5, 2012) - JCK Events will have an increased watch presence, both in terms of exhibiting watch brands and attending watch buyers, at this year’s show.  The new focus is in response to the category’s overall growth and increased interest from buyers (in a pre-show survey, over 50% said they were interested in both jewelry and watches when thinking about planning their appointments for JCK). Watch brands will exhibit at LUXURY, Swiss Watch, and Watches at JCK – the newly renamed Hall of Time.  Together the three arenas will cover the full range of product offerings in the industry.  full report:  http://lasvegas.jckonline.com/en/Press/Show-Press/JCK-Show-Intensifies-Watch-Focus-for-JCK-Las-Vegas-Jewelry-Week-2012/
Announcing AGTA GemFair Las Vegas 2012 for the Colored Gemstone Fans:








....and last but not least - check in often:

Spotlight on JCK Newsletter Archive

View our "Spotlight on JCK" newsletter. Each week leading up to JCK Las Vegas 2012 we'll highlight key features, planning tools, education sessions, events and much more...I love the Tips!...look for more info as announcements cross my desk!

Celebrity Jewel: April Wrap Up!

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Scarlett Johansson sparkled in PLATINUM jewelry by Van Cleef & Arpels at the Los Angeles premiere of "The Avengers" on April 11th:
Scarlett selected a pair of platinum and round diamond stud earrings (1.5 carats each).

photo credit: Harry Winston

Leighton Meester sparkled in PLATINUM jewelry by Harry Winston at the "Grand Opening of Harry Winston's Shanghai Pavilion, the largest Harry Winston salon in the world" on April 27th:
-Platinum and diamond cluster bracelet-Diamond River earrings set in platinum-Platinum and diamond Feather ring-Platinum and diamond Straight Line necklace
Platinum is popular with celebrities since it holds diamonds and colored gemstones most securely, and makes them sparkle.

To download the latest platinum jewelry designs and press materials, visit www.pgi-press.com 

Source:  Platinum Guild International